International Destinations

World’s remote corners present unusual dangers

Courtesy of FeatureSource

(FeatureSource) - Adventure columnist Doug Lansky has been there and done that...big time. His job leads him to off the beaten track places few travelers ever see. If you're planning to see some remote attractions, here are 15 tips from Doug's book Up the Amazon Without a Paddle (Meadowbrook Press) to help you come back in one piece.

1. You can scare off hippos by beating your canoe paddle against the water.

2. A native holding a machete to your face can be bribed with tuna fish.

3. When wrestling alligators, remember they are 90 percent muscle. You are not.

4. Ostriches can reach speeds up to 50 miles-per-hour and can rip your chest open with a lightning fast kick. If attacked, lie down. It is better to be stepped on, than kicked.

5. When jumping from Suicide Gorge in South Africa, do not enter the water straight. It will break your legs.

6. The best way to mentally prepare for a wet-caving expedition in New Zealand is to imagine being flushed down a toilet.

7. When using an Australian six-foot whip, remember the rebound factor. It will bounce off the ground and hit you in very tender parts of your body.

8. Don't try to figure out Aussie-rules football. The game was only invented to confuse Americans.

9. Don't wait in line to by tickets to watch Octopush. It is underwater hockey in Australia. It is not a spectator sport.

10. When traveling in the Australian outback, always get a car with roo-bars to protect your car from kangaroos.

11. Don't fossick on someone's land in Australia. If you do, they will probably blow your head off.

12. If you want to survive the world's largest tomato fight in Spain, fasten a pasta strainer to your face.

13. If you want to enjoy Oktoberfest in Munich, don't go in October -- it’s in September.

14. Some Dutch toilets require you bring your own toilet handle. DO NOT leave it on the outside of the toilet room when you enter.

15. When you play golf in the Arctic Circle, you can only use four clubs, three irons and a putter; the fairways are groomed with a snowmobile and the greens are called "whites."